My friend tells me that I don't open up enough. I think I do. I think the only drama in my life is my struggles with my art. The fact that I'm always broke is an ongoing drama and that I really don't want to talk about ad infinitum. It's been the story of my life. I've made bad choices and it looks like I still do.

So should I cry about it or just get on with the life I have? If I want something different I have to do something different. What I have I can live with today. Do I sometimes envy others their seeming good fortune? Sure I do but I try to remember what an old friend of mine used to say "Don't compare someone else's outside to your inside".

I have everything I need today and am grateful for that. I've had a hard life but much of that had to do with my own choices. I would rather have freedom than money. Some of you will say that money give you a certain freedom and yes, it does. However my freedom is a freedom to be who I am, to love deeply, to enjoy what I have and who I have in my life. Painting can frustrate me because I'm never as good as the next guy but I'm as good as I am and strive to be better. I strive to express myself through my painting. Painting gives me freedom. It allows me to focus, to get away from my rambling thoughts for a while and it just feels good. It feels that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

This is my life and what you see is what you get.