I've been thinking about this artist thing - my having the cujones to call myself an artist when all my life I've just seen myself as an average joe. My father was a writer, my brother writer and visual artist, my sister a musician and I just an average person who got along in the world working. Do I blame anyone for crushing my artistic side? Not really. In truth, I never showed any proclivities towards the arts except as connoisseur, avid reader and avid museum and gallery attendee.

I did once write a book which I never bothered to do the work to publish (and am in the middle of a second one now). Why not? It made me tired. It wasn't that I couldn't see that I needed to rewrite and do the work to get my book into a publishable state, it was that I couldn't see how to do it. I tried to get help for it but could never profit from the advice I got. With my latest book, I actually haven't asked for help yet. And that may because I never really considered myself a writer. (Where is Carl Jung when you need him)

Painting however, I've asked for and gotten help. that's because I couldn't have started painting without the help of a small art class. Progress has been slow for me but there has been some progress because I love to paint. I feel calm and focused when I'm in that process.  True, I don't like everything I paint but I've done some paintings that do speak to me. And now I want to spend as much of my life as possible painting and learning from others.